Title: "Varsity" (College AU - Part Four) Pairing: Karl Urban/Orlando Bloom (Drew Barrymore) Rating: PG-13 Summary: Some things in life weren't fair. Disclaimer: Never happened. Notes: Written for the Comment_Fic Angels & Demons post - my prompts were 'devil's food' and Karl/Orlando. The Varsity wasn't too crowded for a Thursday, but it was early yet. Drew knew the later the hour, the more the booths would fill up with desperate and hungry students, cramming their brains with useless facts and their faces with the greasiest onion rings on God's green earth. True to form, when she slid into the seat across from Karl and Orlando, both of them still wearing their sweats from football practice, they were well into their chili dogs and onion rings. Probably their second order. Bitches. "You know, it's so fucking unfair that you get to eat whatever you want," she stated, in lieu of an actual greeting. Hellos were so boring, and a little bit fascist, to her way of thinking. One thing Drew prided herself on was the fact that she was rarely boring. "Both of you." "Huh?" Both Orlando and Karl looked up from their rings with twin bemused expressions. Karl had tied his flyaway hair back into a short ponytail and was wearing his ever-present glasses. Orlando had jammed a Varsity paper hat over his curls. Drew wasn't quite sure what it said about Orlando or the workers at the Varsity that he always managed to talk someone into giving him a hat. He must have a zillion of them by now. She sighed, and completed it with a deft flick of her wrist. Presentation was everything, after all. "That," she said, pointing a perfectly manicured nail – painted glossy pink – at their paper plates. "Do you have any idea how many calories you're both scarfing down?" Orlando shrugged, and glanced down at his plate before looking back up at Drew. "Uh, a lot?" "Yeah, genius. A lot." "We had a brutal workout today, man, cut us some slack," Karl said. He slurped noisily on his Frosty Orange and smiled at her around the straw. Orlando popped another onion ring in his mouth. "'Sides, Coach Bana keeps saying I need to eat more carbs. Says I'll get too skinny otherwise." "So not fair," Drew lamented. "I don't think you're too skinny," Karl said to Orlando, then wagged his eyebrows at Drew. "You could always come bench with us some day." "Fuck you, I'm not getting gang-raped by a bunch of jocks just so I can eat a hamburger." Orlando waved hi to a passing group of classmates, then frowned at Drew. It was ridiculously, cute. Then again, everything about Orlando was ridiculously cute. No wonder he and Karl were so perfect for each other. "We wouldn't let anyone gang-rape you," he said earnestly. "Thanks for that," Drew replied, in her best sardonic voice. She was practicing her 40s glam-style insouciance for a new role in the spring play. "Seriously, we'd just tell them you were ours or something. Right?" "Oh, absolutely," Karl continued, picking up his cue from Orlando. "You could be, like, our rally girl, like Riggins has in Friday Night Lights." "Honey, you could be Taylor Kitsch and the answer would still be no." "I totally think you're way hotter than Taylor," Orlando told Karl, his grin greasy. They were so cute it was sickening. Except that Drew's very girlish heart also thought they were completely endearing. Drew decided to live dangerously, and nibbled at a piece of onion ring. "Speaking of, what's the deal with your new running back?" "Who, Jake?" Karl asked. "Is that his name?" Like Drew didn't have his name, stats and everything else she could find about him memorized. That boy was fine on toast. "Yeah." Orlando squinted at her. "I know that look. You're totally wet for him." "Orlando!" Even to her, the shock sounded weak. She'd have to work on that in class. "Don't even. You are. Admit it." "Maybe I am," Drew shrugged, but she knew her small smile gave her away. "You're so far out of his league," Karl stated, and saluted her with his Frosty Orange. "You'd eat him for lunch." "And breakfast, if he's willing," Drew grinned. "I can't help it. I see shoulders like that and I just want to nibble." "He's single." "Get out? No girl back home?" "Nope. Broke it off with her over the summer." Karl pointed his straw at her. "Come by after practice tomorrow, I'll introduce you. But you owe me one." "Damn right I will." Drew cupped her chin in her hand, and risked another ring. She steadfastly ignored the chili dog. "I'll name my first orgasm after you." Karl snorted. "As easy as you come, that's not exactly news-worthy." "Bitch." "Kettle." "And you two wonder why you broke it off," Orlando said, shaking his head. The hat shifted almost completely off to the side. "We broke it off because he fell in love with you, numb nuts." "I prefer the term upgrade," Orlando grinned, and ducked when Drew threw her onion ring at him. Onto Career Counseling Main College AU page If you enjoyed this fic, please leave feedback here. Thanks!